In today's world, it seems that almost any topic is open for debate. While I was gathering facts for this article, I was quite surprised to find some of the issues I thought were settled are actually still being openly discussed.
Is everything making sense so far? If not, I'm sure that with just a little more reading, all the facts will fall into place.
Pornography is a contentious subject. Some people react very negatively to any reference or mention of pornographic material, and some claim it is a natural manifestation of human sexuality.
It seems that the two sides of the argument boil down to the following positions:
1. Pornography is bad because religion tells us so, or because it is degrading to women, or some other reason that doesn't really affect the men watching it.
2. Pornography is good because we need to be sexually liberated and in touch with our sexuality.
I think both sides are wrong. I strongly believe that we need to liberate ourselves sexually and get in touch with our sexuality, and yet - all evidence points to the fact that pornography in general, and masturbation to pornography specifically, have little to do with natural sexuality and are extremely unhealthy for males.
Let's start from the basics. When you place a male rat and a female rat in the same cage, the first thing that happens is a frenzy of copulation. Afterwards, the male loses interest and finds a place to rest somewhere. However, if you replace the female rat with another "fresh" female, he immediate wakes up, courts her, and another frenzy of copulation ensues. This process can be repeated until the male rat literally dies of exhaustion.
This phenomenon is called the Coolidge Effect - the extent to which novelty increases sexual attraction (by the way, surprisingly, the effect also occurs in females). The mechanism by which it works is the same as any other desire or craving in our body. The introduction of novelty increases the production of Dopamine, the "wanting" neurochemical, and causes us to get sexually excited.
Other factors that might increase Dopamine secretion and get us more sexually excited than usual are:
* Very attractive females.
* Overt sexual behavior.
* Novel situations or scenarios
* Easy & immediate access.
* Etc.
Take all these factors together -- a multitude of novel mates, who are very attractive, behave in a very sexual way, and are just a click away -- and you get today's internet porn. In one typical session you can see 30 or 40 different beautiful girls do the things you've always dreamed of, and obviously your brain will respond with enormous amounts of Dopamine; sometimes hundreds of times higher than during normal intercourse.
Where's the problem, you ask?
The problem is that our cells adjust to this unusual super-stimulus by desensitizing themselves to Dopamine. So if previously we got excited by looking at one average girl in tight jeans, now we get just as excited by looking at 40 different pornstars for an entire hour.
And when we see that average girl in tight clothes again, our bodies will do.. nothing. We'll be bored, perhaps even impotent. Consciously every man knows that sex is great and this girl is hot, but physically the response could be dull or non-existent.
My experience in coaching hundreds of men with sexual difficulties leads me to believe that the extent of this problem is severely underestimated by most experts. I suspect that at least 20-30% of young American males suffer from erectile dysfunction to the point of partial impotence, just as 79% of all Americans are overweight (and a large percentage of those are obese) - they have overstimulated their brain circuitry by introducing stimuli that our brains were not evolved to consume.
Our genes have evolved over 2,000,000 years, but only in the last 100 years did we start consuming so much sugary and fatty food, and only in the last 40 years did we start routinely watching pornographic movies that are so life-like our mind mistakes them for reality. The average caveman would be lucky to sleep with a dozen women in his lifetime; the porn user's brain thinks he sleeps with 40 gorgeous women every day. It's not surprising that after a while, something might go awry.
What's the solution, you ask?
If you are one of those who masturbates to porn more than 2-3 times a week, and have been doing it for years - the first step would be to admit that it's a problem and it negatively affects your sexual performance.
The second step would be - doing the same things an overweight person would do to fix his chronic overeating. In other words, a sexual diet that either:
1. Strictly regulates the total amount of stimulus, or
2. Eliminates all bad stimulus and allows for unlimited good stimulus.
These two approaches work the same way diets do. The first one is similar to strict diets where calories are counted and food is eaten according to a specific daily regimen. The second one is similar to atkins / paleo / primal / mediterranean and other similar diets, where certain classes of foods are eliminated and you can eat arbitrary amounts of anything else.
The choice is yours to make, of course, but since I have helped many guys with this specific situation before, I can recommend a standard approach that should work for most men:
1. Eliminate all pornography, without exception.
2. Limit sex to 2-3 ejaculations per week or less.
3. Limit masturbation to 1 ejaculation per week or less (using nothing but your imagination).
4. Keep a journal and maintain this diet for at least 60 days, then read your notes and reevaluate how to proceed.
For most men, a period of 60-90 days should be sufficient to restore a healthy & natural sexual response. In some very difficult cases, when pornography was introduced at a very early age, it might take longer.
But in all cases the addiction (and yes, it is an addiction) can be broken rather painlessly if one adheres to the plan and maintains good discipline.
That's how things stand right now. Keep in mind that any subject can change over time, so be sure you keep up with the latest news.